The Self Defense Category of Kicking and Hap Ki Do

When I was nine, my dad put me and my two younger sisters into Tae Kwon Do. I am remembering this mostly because I saw the new Karate Kid movie tonight, and there were some aspects I picked up on that others might not. Maybe not "picked up on" but appreciated differently. I noticed, having grown up learning a martial art, some things I believed true, and some I did not.

Let it be known that I am proud of the school I learned Tae Kwon Do from. Grand Master Chung Oh was trained by General Choy, the founder of Tae Kwon Do as it is known today. His strict requirements for ascension through the ranks of black belt have made his students particularly adept. Some schools give you a black belt only recognized by that school; ours is part of the Canadian Tae Kwon Moo Do Federation, and as such, the rank you attain is recognized by other schools and organizations. For example, not any school can send a student to the Olympics.

The first part of the movie that I experienced differently was in Dre's (Jaden Smith's) training. For many people it represented "his training period" which obviously looked tiring and in the beginning, boring. This is something people do not understand until they try and learn real martial arts. The training, especially at the start, is tedious, repetitive, seemingly pointless. It is dull and boring. Foundational moves must be practiced thousands of times before they become reflex. Hundreds of hours are put into learning how to do a move, and repeating it. The colour belt progression from white to assistant black is all about this. This training process took me personally 5 years to complete. After reaching black belt, training changes. Until this point, there is a lot of boring repetition.

The training at black belt is much more about perfecting the use of the now-reflex techniques. Some insisted upon forms are modified by the student to allow comfort and personal understanding to them. An arm tucked in less tightly, a thumb not placed behind the open palm are examples of things no longer trained necessarily into the black belt student. It is also at this level, usually, that one has the experience that Dre has in the movie when he realizes he moves without thinking. After so long taking off his jacket, putting it on, hanging it up, taking it down, etc. His teacher shows him the moves he's been learning. When he attacks, Dre is able to block and counter suddenly, and he is shocked by his own movements.

Though it is often known full well what moves you are learning and their purpose, there comes a time, often in the sparring ring, where you realize you are not thinking about the next move you will use. The speed of the fight picks up, as one person throws a kick, and in an instant you block and respond in kind to an unprotected area. The block actually is not thought about, because it would only be slowed down. True martial arts comes naturally. It's why you never want to startle a black belt.

Some of the tournament rulings seemed too harsh to be real. Often times a competitor who is injured intentionally by someone else is given an automatic win, instead of being kicked out. In fact, the opposing school may have been disqualified by the actions of the head instructor. It did make for a good movie plot though. What I really noticed most though was how true the amount of training was, how true the moment of shock at your own reflexes is, and how much good martial arts is not just fighting, but self control, and a way of life. I felt connected to many parts of this film as a martial artist.

Sometimes I think it sucks that I will most likely never get a chance to show many of my friends how capable I could be in a real fighting situation. I not been training regularly (which means I lack flexibility, and my reflexes have dulled somewhat), but the training I have had means that when I go back to the school after being away for a year without practice, my technique is still sharper than the lower belts. My training is a part of me, and after 13 years of training, I should hope so. Perhaps if there is some pandemic that requires that I fight for my life against hordes of people every day to survive, I will get a chance to show off the skills I have attained...

Category of Analog PVP Milk Cap Gaming

When I was young and in elementary school, for a short time, kids played Pogs. Now it will be totally obvious what this is to most people of my age group who read this, and how the game is played, but a quick recap to fill blog space is exactly what this paragraph needs. Each Pog was a small soft circle of material with an image printed on it, which may be of any number of things. (8 balls, crossbones, ying-yangs, cartoon characters, etc.) So each player would select and agree upon a number of Pogs, 1 to 3 on average. These Pogs would be stacked face up on top of each other, usually one stack on top of the other (though thinking of it now, it may have been more fair to stack them one at a time, alternating whose Pog got put on the pile...)

Once the stack was created, one person would take their "Slammer" which was a circle the size of a Pog but made of a heavy plastic (or metal if agreed upon for use), and would flip it, coin style. The other player calls heads or tails, and whoever wins goes first. The first person holds their slammer vertically above the pile of pogs, and slams it down onto it, in an attempt to launch the Pogs into the air, where they would flip around. Any Pogs that land face down are that player's to keep. In this way, Pogs are lost to your opponent, won from them, or simply kept in your possession. Oodles of fun, if I do say so myself.

I have very fond memories of this game at my school. I was given my first set of Pogs and a Slammer by a friend who had extras. He gave me a small number, most likely no more than 10, and a slammer, and I was charged and ready to play. I, like many other children, would walk around the large, paved area of the school yard, looking for people to challenge, or for challenges to find me. I may have been in grade 2 or 3 at the time, but all grades were playing. It was amazing; in general, people adhered to the rules, even without supervision. I remember distinctly playing against a grade 7 or 8, winning his Coca-Cola Pog, and never playing that one again. I was so happy to have played an older boy, and won.

Even though this was a game that connected total strangers, if not for a short time, reflecting back on it now, this was not really a "social" event. The strangers you met were all business, with the talk being limited to Pogs, variant rules, and gameplay. There was not really mingling, and after a game, the stranger was left and forgotten. It was fun, but really not the great multi-grade mingling I sometimes remember it as. What is really funny to me, is that I do not always remember the truth of how my Pog experience ended.

I used to keep my somewhat large collection of Pogs in an empty Quality Street Chocolates tin. Large octogonal tin, awkward to carry around, but felt cool to have them all spread out inside where I could easily go through them to find ones I wanted. This happened on one of the last days of the game being played at my school, and it was tragic. I was walking around, looking for a game, and I had my tin open where I could see my Pogs. Some older kid came up from behind me while I was distracted, punched the underside of my tin sending it, and all my Pogs, skyrocketing into the air, and down into the crowd of players. He yelled "Scramble!" and ran off. I remember later being upset that I didn't look to see the face of my attacker, and instead tears and panic welled up inside me.

I immediatly freaked out, rushing around trying to recover my lost Pogs, but it was too late. That many Pogs let loose into a packed crowd of Pog players was the death of my collection. I remember of the approximately 150 Pogs I had with me, I was reunited with a measily 14. I was devastated. It was really an awful event, and often when I remember it, I wish I had seen this person's face (probably would have been the only grudge I've ever held), or been a grade 8 myself, watching this happen to a younger student. All I know is it was a really awful thing to do to someone, and I wish I could have, ahem, "showed that" to the culprit. Pogs were, several days after, banned from our school. As it is a Catholic school, and technically playing Pogs was a form of gambling, they declared it unfit as a game for children to play. I think some parents were sad their kids sucked at Pogs and were losing them to other kids in games.

I still retain my good memories about playing this game, and how I felt connected to other players in a neat way, that otherwise I would have had no interation with. The game was easy, and anyone could play and have a reasonable chance of winning (which kind of does make it gambling), and other games after tried to take its place. I remember specifically "Crazy Bones" and Magic Cards became a thing for some, but none as sweeping as Pogs. I never played any of these alternatives myself. Looking back, I am just thankful that I was a part of this game craze while it lasted. It is a part of my childhood I'll not forget, and can think back on fondly.

I can tell you with some certainty that I remember some Pogs I won, but did not like, and would often play them, thinking I wouldn't care if I lost them. These Pogs would have been girly ones, cheap or lame ones (I remember police officers' faces on some), and of course scary ones. I remember having this one that had a severed, decaying head, missing an eye, its face twisted into a fearsome growl. Sounds scary, doesn't it?

The Category of Grammar and Grammpa

For some reason, when someone misuses grammar in front of me, I enjoy stating the correct usage. Sometimes people ignore me, sometimes people are annoyed, and sometimes people smile. Frankly I do not do it in an attempt to make someone feel stupid, or even to ensure someone knows for next time. I like to correct grammar when I hear it improperly employed because it happens to be something I am familiar with. It would be like someone saying, "then that soccer player scored a touchdown." in which case many people would state "that's called a goal." Grammar is something I love and make use of frequently, and so I am very aware of its misuse when I hear it.

I do not have a problem with people misusing it, and I don't think any lack of intelligence in the person who does it. I understand that the rules of English can be stupid and illogical, with many exceptions to the many rules. Frankly I don't find the English language as beautiful as I find it fun. I can't imagine spending time trying to learn and appreciate another language when I am still doing all I can to enjoy my own. Guess I'm the kind of guy who would sooner explore the oceans of our own planet, than travel to and explore yet another one. It is important for me though to clarify that I think that a disregard for grammar in an informal setting is totally okay. Who cares??

What I DO really love are puns. I love the enjoyment and the humour found in the deliberate misuse of language. It is really a kind of wit that displays an understanding of the function of language, and plays on peoples' comprehension of its facets. Often times I am the only one laughing when everyone else is groaning. I appreciate the subtle thought process that goes into the creation of puns, and other such clever witticisms. Maybe it is this love of language that drives me to poetry, more than the messages alone that they contain. Perhaps I am truly fascinated with the capability of our language to communicate through perfect comprehension and use of words, structure, and even punctuation. One might even say I'm literary-ly crazy... Oh dear.

For that one you may throw me to the zombies.

The Category of Role Playing Creativity

I really like to write. Mostly I write poetry, and this I put a lot of effort into. My poems are formed and then edited like crazy to make sure every little part is intentional. I consider myself a poet, and believe that as such there are certain standards of quality I strive for. I found, by high school, that I cannot write very good fiction. Though I have on occasion written decent sci-fi, my plots are predictable and my characters bland. Yet I desire to express my creative nature. In this, I have discovered the artistic expression of Dungeons & Dragons.

As a Dungeon Master, I am required to plan an adventure for my players. What is wonderful is that this is not simply writing a story. For some reason, the art of writing fiction, coupled with the attempt to impress, challenge, and surprise a select group of people is wonderful. I do not worry about the proper dialogue and character depth too much, that is the job of my players. Instead, I get to use my thorough understanding of this magical setting to expand the minds of my players, and show them the fantasy world's possibilities. I have devised poems and riddles for my games, and have created puzzles, challenging combats, and tricky situations that have pleased my players, and left me feeling like I've created something great.

My art in this form lives only in the memories of my friends, and as such, much of my creation is lost. Some of the finer work however is immortalized in old stories remembered together, and times fondly missed. When I do not get to play D&D, I start to feel like Sherlock Holmes without a mystery. Though I will not take his solution and take up cocaine, I do start to feel I am not being true to my creative nature. I am so thankful that D&D has provided for me a way to express my creative nature in a fun, social way that brings enjoyment to my friends.

The only complaint is that the stats for zombies in D&D are lame, and I never use them.

Category of Delicious Hot Beverages Made from Leaves

I am so in love with tea. I am astounded by the varying flavours and the possible tastes. I really feel like tea is the juice of adults. Where I used to drink apple juice and grape juice, I now drink Chai and Rooibos. I feel quite like tea compliments poetry, and as such, is best when done right.

Some day I'd love to have a hutch or something with 5 or 6 different tea pots that are reserved for a single kind of tea to be made in. I would store all the essentials of tea creation here, and would enjoy a variety regularly. I believe that people who don't like tea, just need to try more kinds until they do. Teaopia is good for this. What is strange is that I hate cold or iced tea. Cold chai lattes are good, but plain cold tea, even sweetened, is gross to me. Maybe I still like real juice.

Regardless, if I were to imagine the kind of tea the zombies would drink it would be a toss up between Human Flesh Oolong, or Matcha Brain. Gotta get those antioxidants!

Finished a Book Series: A Category.

So I have completed the eleventh, and final book in the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. I would like to start by saying, wow. This is an author with extreme talent. I have been reading all sorts of fantasy fiction for many years, and this series is the second best book series to Lord of the Rings. The mastery of language, the mind blowingly accurate continuity, the attention to detail, and the control over the readers' emotions; brilliant. Some of the best fiction I've read, and I'm sad to have it end. I highly recommend this book to someone who wants a serious, powerful read.

What I loved about this book was the subtle commentary on society. I love when this is portrayed through well thought out fiction, and it was masterful. The reason I am writing this, however, was because I am annoyed. In the final chapter, the author decides to drop the veiled implications, and actually makes a direct reference that makes clear his total distaste and distrust of Christianity. Now, I don't have a problem with the story, and even the social commentary that leaned towards his distaste. Usually through veiling the implications, you merely point out the flaws of the system, not just bash the system itself overall. This is great for progress, and making your point. However, by changing his wording and directly referencing aspects of Christianity in our world, the skill changed.

I felt as though, with that single sentence, the chapter became a "letter to the editor". It was not thoroughly explained, it was just an opinion, and it was a weak stab that would be expected to be accepted as part of the fiction. It basically seemed like a cheap shot, and it was lame. I felt disappointed. Now, a running theme in the book was truth, and finding truth despite what some people might tell you, and using that advice, I would hope the readers will not cling to every word Mr. Goodkind has fed to them. 99% of his writing was brilliant, and so full of messages promoting free will, intelligence, logic, love, and so forth! He accomplished so much! However, by bringing it into the realm of the real, he tarnished the masterpiece. That moment shattered my "suspension of disbelief" as Tolkien would call it. Luckily, that shattering occurred on the final pages.

All in all, I recommend the book. Some people wouldn't even notice the line I'm sure, but to me it was a real slap in the face. It changed the feeling slightly, and I am forced to ignore it to ensure I focus on the perfection otherwise. If you need a good read, pick this one up. The first book is called "Wizard's First Rule". It's amazing. Now that I am done reading this, I can actually begin to read the newest short story anthology I purchased that I had to buy online, as it was only available in Britain. It is a collection by my favourite author of the genre, Scott Edelman. What kind of fiction is this book? Zombie short stories, of course.

The Category of Personal Introductions

For some reason, whenever I am part of a group of strangers who are asked to go around the room, and one by one share their name and a little something about themselves, I always go to the same fact. I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I always wonder to myself why I really use this little tidbit that, although true, is not really what anyone knows me for. It's kind of an afterthought, especially among the people who know me best. I can think of a couple reasons.

The first is that this is a fact unlikely to be the same as someone else's in the room. This means that I will stand out, and people won't just hear something typical. I find that although I don't need to be the center of attention, I do like for people to think of me as different than just another face. One line I really love, though don't believe too fully, from The Picture of Dorian Gray, is stated by Lord Henry, "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." I love the sort of passion for life and society that exists in this quote; no one wants to be gossiped about, but no one wants to be utterly forgotten or meaningless to others. At least I don't. This is one idea.

Another is that my black belt does signify the culmination of many years of hard work and training. Getting my black belt was an accomplishment I would liken to getting my university degree. From a real Tae Kwon Do school, it isn't something done easily or quickly. I put more years into Tae Kwon Do than I have into philosophy or poetry. It has been a major part of my life for many years. Sometimes it's weird to talk about because it really isn't as much, but I suppose because I still train and have maintained much of my skill, I do think it is a large part of who I am.

The only other reason I can think of is that I don't have anything else that people would say "Wow" to. Again, this goes back to standing out, but more than being remembered, I really want to ensure that people are having a good time. For that short time when they hear me, they will have something to think about. "A black belt? Wonder what he's capable of. He doesn't look like a black belt." Etc. etc. I'm not claiming to be a great entertainer, but I do love giving people a few seconds of enjoyment. It's for this reason that when I die, I want to be buried, or at least have a burial plot and tombstone. Why take up the space? I want something humorous on my tombstone, so that random people going through and seeing it will be lightened just a little. My permanent mark left on the world, other than through friends and family, will be a small joke left in the world.

Of course, that tombstone plan assumes I'm dead before the zombie outbreak. I don't think people will be reading tombstones, or even going near graveyards much after that...

The Category of Speedy Transportations

My mother keeps pressuring me to get my G2. There is a car at home that I can use, and basically will be able to go wherever I want. I admit, I am hesitant because I hate driving. Wait, let me be clear about this; I hate driving cars. Maybe it's all the scratches I've seen on cars, but for some reason I am terrified to hit something, scratch something, whatever. Frankly, I know that it will have to happen at some point, I just hate that. Some people say I just need to drive more, but I say, I don't really want to right now. I have a motorcycle.

I think driving a motorcycle is amazing. I would choose it every time, over a car. I would always take a cool bike over a cool car, and I just think it's the best ride ever (for practical use. A helicopter would be awesome, though hard to find parking). When I'm on a motorcycle, I feel like the bike is a self-enhancement; like I have attached a device to my body that responds to my every little bodily command. Nothing compares to the maneuverability, acceleration, and braking power of my motorcycle. People say "You're safer in a car!" but I disagree. My discomfort behind the wheel of a car, coupled with my inability to accurately tell where the furthest reaches of the car are hinders my ability to drive it. The motorcycle however, I am fully aware of. I don't concentrate on driving the bike, I focus on the road around me. The bike just moves how I think it should move.

I will have to get my licence, but I will always trust myself more, and have much more fun on a bike. The raw power and the closeness to it, being in the outside during the ride, just feels natural. It's the natural progression from riding horses, or dinosaurs, or dragons, or sabretooth tigers. It is really a man/machine power that is not the same as getting into and piloting a car. It allows you to really feel like you are going that fast, not just the vehicle you drive. It's ecstasy. It's an ego boost. Sometimes you feel untouchable. And to be safe, all you have to do is not think that too often.

When the zombies come, and your cars pile up to block the roads, I'll be zipping between the spaces on my motorcycle, safely out of reach of the walking dead. A-thank you.

Category of Exerting Influence

I am surprised at how much people are influenced by the world around them. Studies have shown that little things that are experienced by people in their day-to-day lives (things they see or hear) can actually change their mood, or way of thinking for a short time. The whole "nature vs. nurture" argument is kind of based off of this, and frankly I think our society has, as a by-product of our education system, bred this facet into human nature. People are trying to take in the world around them, and this is the source of all knowledge, at least, in a subconscious way. People react to the world around them in order to function, but this sometimes has a more lasting impression.

If you were to see a goat running full out towards you, you would see this and get out of the way (hopefully). This is how we function. Action, reaction. However, from that point on, you may have a view of goats that is less favorable. In fact, your day may be less positive having narrowly escaped death (it was a very big goat). The point is, things around us mess with our mind, and sometimes our mind doesn't know when to turn off this "action, reaction" function, and not apply it to everything. I think this is where some people get fears of things that haven't actually affected them for years.

Now this concept of being influenced has always fascinated me, and much of my early writing contains attempts to play around with this. I have always felt that the author of a piece of writing exerted a sort of power or control over the reader, who will read anything the author has written. Now some people say the reader can stop whenever they want, but the power comes from keeping the person reading, and in a way, making them not want to stop. For example, in one poem, I tell the reader straight out that there is no way they will stop reading, because they can see from the overall size of the poem that it is almost the end, and they will figure they may as well not skip the last bit. Whatever the author puts in those last few sentences is going to be read, no matter what they say.

You can't always make someone accept what you write, so the power isn't incredible. What it does accomplish is the concept behind marketing; it puts it into your brain, and it gets processed. It will go through the "action, reaction" system, and a conclusion will be reached. The power an author has is in their ability to activate this brain function when it otherwise would not have activated. I wish I could sound more profound, but what I'm talking about here is pretty basic stuff, and actually of little consequence. It's just something that has fascinated me. You see something scary, you may have nightmares. You hear a wonderful story, and you may have a positive outlook for the day. How can anyone be sure that what they think is actually their own true constructed thoughts? Isn't everything you ever think just some sort of comprehension of the external world? What is truly our own??

Some people think you need to be "authentic" or "your own person". I say that it is best to try and understand yourself, find out how you process with your "action, reaction" system, and control that function. Don't get caught up in bad feelings about not being your own entity; that's not what life is about, in my opinion. You can't be separate from something you're a part of. Accept it, and move on. Influence is inevitable, and not necessarily the worst thing ever.

Zombies; that's pretty much the worst thing ever.

A Category Unnamed

I haven't updated my blog in a couple days, and I am finding myself missing it. I want to write but find that if I can't think of something interesting or really intellectual, I don't want to waste the space. The only other site I post writing on is my Deviantart.com page where I put my art, so maybe I'm used to thinking I can only put my strong, edited work up online. Silly really, this is just a blog.

I wish more of my friends would keep a blog. I am all for social networking, and being in touch by text message or phone call, but it really isn't as informative as sitting down to chat. Now SOME PEOPLE will say that sitting down for a chat is the best way to connect, but I say, though it is the best, by no means should you limit yourself to this method in a world now designed to allow futher connectivity to your friends. I have a friend in particular who is so busy working multiple jobs, I haven't had a chance to actually see him for very long, in a while. Now, the odd text message helps combat this problem, and facebook would surely alert me to any changes great enough to warrant an update, but not to warrant a personal phone call, but it's still lacking.

The blog is a place to have a one sided chat with a person, usually on a topic that they have invested interest and thought into. I feel that people reading my blog may get to know me just a little better, hearing my side of a conversation that may not otherwise come up in conversation. To be honest, I'm not the kind of person to share every little opinion I have, especially with people I have found cannot deal with disagreeing opinions well. So the blog acts as a way for people to hear my inner thoughts, and connect with me in a new kind of technological way. It provides the intimacy of thought-sharing, without the need to spend time and money getting together to chat. I am not saying it's better, just saying it's realistic to admit we don't all have the time or money, despite having the desire to stay close friends.

Hopefully soon I'll be able to write another blog with some topical opinion developed recently in my life, and I will share it with the few people who happen to watch this blog. Somehow I still don't feel like I'm writing exclusively for them, and realize anyone could be picking this page up. I just wish more of my friends would share themselves in the same way, so I could know what they're thinking on a larger scale. I like being able to comment in little ways, on the big things people have to say.

Also a blog is a great way to gauge someone's psyche, and determine their likelihood to survive the trauma of some crazy, unexplained plague sweeping across nations bringing the dead back to life to feed on the living.

Category: Choices Made to Improve

I was having a very long conversation today, which covered a variety of topics, and though it was not discussed, I realized something interesting. There are a lot of techniques and proven strategies to improve oneself that relies entirely on the participant's desire to participate, and to get the desired benefit out of it. It's almost like a conscious placebo effect, in that if you want it, and believe you'll get it, you will. Although studies prove these aren't placebo effects, like them, if you don't believe, they will be as useful as sugarcubes.

The first example I came across was psychology. Now, call me biased for dating a student in the field of psychology, and a dreamer at that, but this is a study with unbelievable potential that depends on how well people will receive it. Many decades ago, psychiatrists discovered a miracle cure all for mental disorders. Suddenly any serious problem could be changed with an ice pick, and someone willing to care for a vegetable/person. Decades later, they were all like, "Oh no, that's terrible, what have we done? It's much better to drug someone into a numb state with a variety of effects." And so medicating began.

So now, as people try to be healthy, and want to move away from the practice of throwing pills at every little complaint and dissatisfied comment, we start to truly perfect and study the effects of psychology. Not Freud really, and none of this, "How do you feel? And how does that make you feel? And why do you think that?" and endless questions, but really psychology. How well does it work to attempt cognitive behavioural psychology? What about talking, connecting, and then using developed methods of a sort of "training" to help give people the tools and skill to cope with their issues? I'll tell you what, it actually works pretty darn well.

Studies are showing such incredible improvements in the use of these techniques which are constantly being tested and perfected. It is healthy, safe, and puts the healing in the hands of the patient. However, the danger? It only works if the patient wants to be helped. No amount of proven methods can help if you are closed to it. Amazing medical bounds, dependant on those it serves. Not to worry, right? Obviously we all want to be improved...

It's crazy but true, this progress is a struggle. So many people distrust new methods, and even fewer trust other people to open up themselves to new ideas. I am now trained in administering a professional psychological assesment that categorizes your personal preference for functioning, and yet, it will only yield true results if you really try, and it will only provide you a benefit afterwards if you are open to the consideration and discussion process that follows. This is a tried and tested program, that many people scoff at because it just doesn't sound like something that would work. People want to trust themselves, to keep from being fooled, tricked, and generally had. It's a shame, because this is sometimes the attitude people need, and being critical can help you a lot. The problem is, sometimes people genuinely want to help you better yourself, and that's something to consider.

It's time for people to learn when it is appropriate to trust others, and to realize the benefit in participating in developmental activities. I understand some people want change and improvement forced upon them, with results making themselves apparent like some kind of powerful medicine, but the fact is we are realizing it is more effective, and much more healthy, to improve ourselves through hard work, determination, and the help of others. So should you willingly try to make yourself better, and work towards your own betterment at every opportunity in your life? Let me put it this way.


A zombie wouldn't.

The Category of Best Literature

So having discovered the beauty in fiction at a young age, and having come to love poetry in my late teenage years, and having read massive amounts of both kinds of writing, I have finally discovered what I believe is the greatest form of literature. What is so incredibly sad is that this perfect art form is so totally rare and valuable, I must soak it in while I have it, and appreciate it while I can. It's so beautiful, and it isn't even quite shareable. This amazing literature is found in the form of diary. It is the allowed reading of someone else's diary.

I have been given this privilege twice only, but it is truly beautiful. When someone writes their diary, there are 2 aspects about it that make it sort of magical. First, the author is writing with the intent that what they write will never actually be read. Not like, written from that perspective, but actually not meant for anyone else to ever have access to. Of course, times change, and people connect in ways where they later decide to share, but at the time of conception, it is for one person alone. The second amazing quality is in the ability to trust the author. You can be certain that everything put in a diary is true, or at least honestly believed by the person writing it. With other writing, you can never be sure what is being changed, or even lied about; but a diary is so personal, and so much for its own sake, there can be no need to question.

This kind of art, and that's what I've decided it truly is, is something that feels magical to me. It is the opposite of the poetry and the literature I saturate my soul in; it is not meant to be immortal! This is not art to be art, this is writing from the soul, meant to be invisible and disappear. This is a glimpse at the art of someone's personal reality, and it is magnificent to behold. The spelling mistakes, scratches out, the rambling, the inconsistencies in their experiences and ideas... the thought process!! Nothing like this exists, or can be created. To fake this, just lacks the rawness of it. Maybe it is just because of whose diaries I've read, but I don't care. People judge the overall preference of poetry or paintings based on what they've seen, so this is just what makes sense. The diary has to be shared willingly, and I need to know the person at least somewhat. I have read innocence, and I have read what can only be described as "beautiful, youthful tragedy".

I am in love with the art I have discovered, and I am touched to my artful soul in a way I would never have expected. But in a way, it's as perfect as humanity can ever be, and I believe that. I wish we all had diaries, and I wish we all wanted to keep them secret, only to decide later to share them with everyone else, who also wants to read it from start to finish. I haven't written in a long time, and this blog is sort of a new medium for me; but I enjoy it. This may be the closest thing to a diary I ever keep, though my love for this art form is so strong and young, I may be driven to keep one. The only problem is that if I do, I will be writing it with the intention that it will one day be read. I don't really think I'll ever be able to create this kind of literature or the human soul.

How about this, when most of humanity is gone, and zombies are roaming the Earth, I'll be pretty certain no one will ever get a chance to read my diary. I'll make one then.

The Category of Prioritized Happiness

So since I hadn't gotten any topical inspirations yet today, most likely due to my mental exhaustion, I will quickly share an opinion I have about life. Specifically, it involves the inclusion of happiness in one's life, and how this should be included in life goals. I seem to come across people (mostly young people, but that's just who I hang around with) who don't really have a positive view of life, or don't feel that, overall, they are very happy.

I suppose this ties into my last post about making the most of holidays, but this is not telling people to go "get" happiness, because I know that is easier to say than to do. What I am really getting at is the need to at least make your own happiness a priority. In 1935, Hans Selye discovered a new medical condition, that until that time was present in an incredible amount of patients, but was unidentified. This awful affliction would lower an immune system, and reduced a patient's liklihood of recovery, in some situations. This discovery, is the medical community's discovery of stress.

Stress is real, and if not combatted, actually causes a problem to health. More and more studies are showing how stress reduces life expectancy, and will take years away from you. Now this isn't smoking, where you'll get cancer or something, this is just, you have too much strain and you get worn out. I can't imagine a single affliction that the treatment of is more pleasureable! It is actually much more important that happiness be included in daily life, otherwise you risk damaging health, relationships, and mental function.

When I am unhappy, I generally know it. Often times those close to me know it too, and will point it out. It is in these times that I am most likely to put off, even just for a little while, other important things I must do in order to restore my happiness. Some people will say, "That is not efficient! You need to get the important things done first! You have responsibilities!" What I am saying is that your own happiness IS your responsibility. Happiness is important. No one would criticize you for doing something a doctor says you really should, or for eating a healthy meal as opposed to a big fat juicy heart attack; happiness, in my mind, is the same. If your life is not full of happiness, maybe you need to re-evaluate some of your goals for success and health, and really re-evaluate the action plans you have about achieving your goals. Wouldn't it be better to get to where your going, having loved every moment possible?

When the chips are down, happiness is crucial. Making it important is really, in the long run, a survival tactic. See where this is going? What's the point in survivng the zombie apocolypse if you aren't going to maintain your humanity, and try to have a little fun whenever possible??

The Category of Successful Occasions

I know I just "blogged" and I wasn't sure if I should do another one so soon, but I guess it's ok, and I won't really run out of ideas. Best to get them down while I have them, before they disappear into the chaos of my murky subconscious. That place is rife with unshared concepts, and unheard opinions. Not that I care, I rarely dive back in to retrieve anything; I wait til they wash up on my consciousness shore.

Sometimes around St. Patrick's Day, I tell people that I am boycotting that particular holiday/celebration until Valentine's Day gets more respect. In truth, my feelings about Valentine's Day, or rather my philosophy on Successful Occasions, is the same for all events. People hate that a day is supposed to be for Love, for 2 main reasons (in my experience):
1. It's a holiday created by greeting card companies to make money.
2. I don't want a "day" telling me when to show love; it's better to show love on my own.

I have a problem with this, because it ignores the most obvious fact about nationally recognized holidays; they are absolutly meaningless, empty, and utterly forgettable. On their own. When Valentine's Day goes by, and you do nothing, of course it sucks. But I feel like too many people think that it should be that they wake up in the morning, and feel full of Love! Like there is a magic to the day that makes it obvious why anyone would decide this, of all days, is special. To be honest, that's your job. And if you don't take it seriously, it's never going anywhere.

St. Patrick's day is easy; people love to drink. This is a holiday where all you have to do is go out, and drink. I love Valentine's Day! Is it because I think Love is worth celebrating with a national holiday? Not really... I like dressing up, steak dinners, giving romantic gifts, and basically flooding people with this idea that I love them. Valentine's Day is easy for me, because I love doing all the things you're supposed to.

Basically what I'm saying is this: If you hate a holiday, that is completely your fault. "Special Days" that represent something are an opportunity for you to do fun things, and if you don't, then it's your loss. Stop blaming the holidays! So what if a greeting card company invented it, if you don't spend a penny on cards, what's the harm?! Use that day to bring a little more fun into your life, and the lives of people around you! Holidays don't suck, people suck, sometimes.

I bet I could have an amazing Valentine's Day party in the midst of a zombie apocolypse. And yes, this will be a running theme.

Categorizing and Fitting into Place

I was attempting to add some small details to my profile, and instead ended up with my own blog. We'll see how this goes. I rarely am inclined to write about regular stuff, reserving my creativity for poetry or D&D games, but I've started so at the very least, I'll communicate a recent thought.

The title of this blog is based on Aristotle's theory that in order for us to discuss and understand an infinite amount of "things" in a finite amount of time (life), we must try and put things into categories. They may not be the most complete to descibe every little detail of each item in the category, but that's not really the most important thing; it's the sorting for sake of discussion. I think this is really how everyone ends up thinking. It's why we're not trying to connect every little thing to absolutely everything else.

I am being certified to administer the MBTI instrument. This is a psychological tool used for personal and professional development, in basically every situation. I won't explain the whole thing, partly because it's too long, partly because it's easier in person, and partly because after tomorrow, I can charge you to have me explain it in detail! Let's just say I'm fascinated by how categorizing people in a healthy, clear way allows for so many problems to be understood and sometimes solved.

By completing a series of questions, it can be determined (potentially) a preference for how people gather information and make decisions. Trust me, this is a simplified explanation. By understanding some of these differences, people can develop their weakness to be stronger, and can figure out why it is so hard to communicate and interact with others. Though people have different, equally rational ways of functioning it is hard to see it that way. What I struggle with the most is the dynamic between those of the T type (Thinking) and those of the F type (Feeling).

Thinkers like to make decisions based on logic. Pros, Cons, efficiency, cost, benefit. The most important thing is equality. However, in doing this, they often don't bother with the unpredicatable nature of people's feelings. This isn't the most important. The difference is that the F types take people's feelings and concerns/desires, and make it highest priority. No amount of logic or listing can actually achieve what Fs believe it truly most important; people and harmony.

I can't believe, as an F, how hard it is to sometimes make a T feel like I have valid opinions, that I can contribute to a success, and that I'm not wasting time or getting in the way. It is hard for an F to impress a T. The problem is that people are everywhere, and we are, in business, everything. We are the employees, we are the shareholders, we are the clients. People are the only reason money exists, and frankly, still works. We want it, so we try to get it. But we aren't business, we're people. Fs just take more about this part of the equation into account. When Ts have an initiative, the Fs will help get people on board. When Ts can't seem to explain the purpose to others, or seem to be losing followers, the Fs will bring it all together, and make sure everyone feels considered. Ts want success and know the technical aspects; Fs are the people who really make it happen for everyone.

I just wish people who focus on business and money would keep in mind that they are human. They enjoy their intelligence and success, and money, because there are other people around. What good is being so smart, if you were the only one around? What good would money be? Top of a company? Who cares if everyone else is a zombie??

I pose the question in this way because it's honestly the most likely way that the human race will suddenly disappear, leaving one lone survivor. And in the end, zombies were people too.