The Category of Being A Simple Complicated Person

It is strange to me, but sometimes I feel like I am a really easy person to get to know, and that I try to live simply. But there are other times when I feel like no one is like me, and somethings make me totally separate from anyone else I know. It is peculiar to me to be so sociable, yet feel so unlike anyone else around. I suppose everyone is unique, but sometimes the things that make me, me, have me feeling like I have the strangest things about me.

The ways that I am simple would be in my life philosophies, and my extroverted personality. My life philosophies can be summed up in 2 quotes: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might. You shall love your neighbour as yourself." is the first quote, from the Christian Bible obviously. The second is "If you find out you can live without it, and go along not thinking about it, I'll tell you something true; the bare necessities of life will come to you" which is from the Jungle Book. These are the statements that at this point in my life, guide me. They are my direction, and utterly my belief. Knowing this, means you know a lot about me.

I'm also pretty talkative, and as such, share a lot of my likes and dislikes. I may not share my opinions too strongly or readily, but if it feels safe then I like to share. In general I like answering any questions I am posed with, and so it is easy for people to know the things they wonder about me. I drive a motorcycle, I do Tae Kwon Do, I love zombies, I read/write poetry, I love D&D, I love superheroes and video games, I drink too much Coca-Cola, and so on. These are things my friends know immediately, but also things that many people learn about me right away. I am friendly, caring, interested in others' and their well being, I am generous; these are also things people can see right away.

There are some things that I feel are rare in people, and I have them. I feel most connected, and enjoy listening to, 80s New Wave. One Hit Wonders and things like that I love to death. Another musical aspect is that I like to sing. I sing to myself, I don't think I'm amazing, but I'll do it anywhere. At the mall, in my house, the car, even the bus with headphones on. I only sing when there is music on that I can hear, but I do it every time, and it's just how I enjoy music. No one I know sings that much. Until recently I didn't know anyone that loved zombies as much as I did. Not in a "study them to know everything" but rather a "play every game, see every movie, read every story" kinda way. I now know one person who feels the same, but I met him fairly recently in my life.

I feel alone in my religious beliefs. I feel like my understandings are so simple and feel so "right" (in terms of the important things) that I struggle to believe that there isn't an organization that holds all the same ideas. Why do I feel like I'm the only Catholic who believes in not judging others, in loving everyone, in following tradition to connect to God, and believes Hell is not something to actually fear. I believe in a God that wants everyone to love and be happy, and take whatever information they can get, and strive for this. How could any life be more satisfying? I understand other people having different beliefs, but I feel like I know no one who takes the most obvious, simple view. I feel there are no contradictions in my beliefs with such a strong, straight-forward foundation.

I had a bit of an identity crisis about a year ago. I began feeling like I could not control my own actions, could not make everyone happy, could not be myself and fit in anywhere completely. I fled to Calgary believing I would start over with new people, and would shape my life how I wanted it, taking care of myself. Doing this showed me how much my love for my friends, family, and especially love and respect for my girlfriend, meant to me. I learned to listen to people who care, who I trust are intelligent and may actually be right when I feel that I know better. I don't always know what's best for me, but that's ok when others want to look out for you. I want to be a better friend, be a better love, be a better worker, everything. And now I know to seek advice, and ask for help.

I am not like everyone else, and it's funny that I had to break down a bit to truly understand that it's okay. I am a firm believer in society and inclusion, and just getting along. I hope to share my strengths and benefit from others'. I want to be different, and be allowed to do and like what I want, while being a part of a loving group that makes up my life. The movie "Wit" with Emma Thompson taught me that there is nothing more important in life than being there for others, and having people around you. My life is lived only with the existence of my friends and family, and that is exactly the way I want to be. All I need is my select group of people.

And with them we can survive the zombie apocalypse. Hopefully.