I will admit my blog’s inspiration is John’s. I only decided to write my own, because I like John’s so much, and wanted to share some of the things I don’t necessarily share otherwise. I am not a secret person, but often I believe that people don’t honestly care what I have to say; this doesn’t bother me, I just don’t bother talking sometimes. Other times I talk for the sake of saying things, whether or not people really listen. I love to think out loud, and by writing or saying things, it solidifies my own understanding of my beliefs. So though I don’t have a hundred posts, I will do a little personal reflection based on what John wrote about.
I’m not an angry person, but I often feel confused. I would admit that coming from a stable family, being successful in friendships, and in jobs, and having not suffered any worse life struggles than mild asthma, I do not have much reason to be otherwise. Now, I learned in high school that you should be comfortable with yourself. By this I mean, be comfortable admitting what brings you joy, what makes you really you, and find the people that will accept and love you still. The problem is I don’t think I know anyone quite like me, and I sometimes feel weird. I wonder if people are secretly annoyed by me, or don’t really respect me. I wonder if people realize I think more than it seems just by listening to me, and I wonder if people know I care. I don’t have friends who ask much of me, which is actually a shame, because I wish I could do more for my friends.
I am certain that my life is happy because I have found a life philosophy that makes sense to me, and works. My girlfriend is annoyed to hear me quote it every other day, but when asked, all my life thoughts are based on a single concept. Two aspects make it complete; Love God, and Love everyone else. This is a short version, but it’s all I need. Knowing that this is my life understanding, and that I live a life mostly in accordance with this, gives me extreme satisfaction. If I never achieve more than loving the people around me, I will have succeeded. I don’t need to travel, I don’t need to change the world, and I don’t care if most people never hear of me. My life is lived fully by loving God, and loving others. I wish my friends asked more of me, so I would have a chance to actively show how much I care.
I had a co-worker recently admit what she loves about me; she sees that I care about everyone. When I interact with strangers, I typically start off trying to concern myself by making them comfortable, and then I’m actually interested in hearing what they feel and think. I have spouted in this blog about bringing happiness to yourself, and making the most of things for yourself. Well, I believe in true, solid love that lasts, despite obstacles that try to rend it apart violently. I also care about everyone finding this in their own, best way. People have always known they could talk to me about their feelings and that I would be interested and care. I love to listen to relationship/love concerns, and figure out what a person really wants or needs for themselves.
I know that God is my safety net. Having come to a conclusion for myself based on what I consider “adequate evidence”, I am firm in my current beliefs. Because of this, certain relationships I have may be very important to me at any given time, but do not bother me extensively when they end. Losing certain friends has been sad, but I’ve never assumed I couldn’t get more later. I love people, and love to find new friends. Rarely have I made such important friends, where no longer being friends would be truly painful. My best friend Mark is an obvious choice, as I see him as a brother. John, I’m sad to say, despite your wishes, you are one of these important friends too. I would never want to hold you back from achieving your desires to travel and move on quietly, but I would be pained to know I’d never hear from you again. This is the sort of relationship that is based on loving who people truly are. Mark and John are people who have such aspects to their personality that I feel they are examples of great people. Their intelligence, wit, love, thought, care, and more are all things that make me think the world of them. John, so many girls would be the luckiest in the world if they got to be with you in a relationship. Forget that you have anger, and that you have issues with your body; this stuff is only for you. You don’t need to doubt your relationship value, that’s not your job. Your only job is to accept what you DO bring to the table, which is so much, it outweighs everything.
I know this post sounds like I love John, and maybe I want to balance what I read in his. When I reflect on my posts, and my life, I want people to know that I care about others, I care about myself, and I care about God. Nothing else really matters. I wish more people would ask friendly favours of me, even if it is to just hang out when you feel like it, I want to be a part of that. I am a smart person; I put a lot of thought into the things I think and believe, and though it annoys me when people judge my thoughts assuming they are not rationally decided, I understand it is hard to understand how other people think. I am a happy, lucky person, who really doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else; I would just love to be there with people who don’t realize their own happiness. True happiness in life can come from the intellectual, from the artistic, from the interactive. So much happiness is there for the taking and those who can’t quite take as much, either just haven’t found it yet, or could benefit from a friend to point them in the right direction.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Category of Being in Control of People and Things
I have come to understand that the world we live in is based in cause-and-effect laws. We know that everything that happens is caused by something else that happens to it, and that this chain can be traced to anything that has occured. For this reason, many people point to a Deterministic view of existence; that everything that happens must happen, or happens for a reason. Some say that it is God that did this, others say science simply works this way, but whatever they say, they agree that things cause other things to happen. It's the basic rule of the physical world. However, I kind of feel like there is a slight exception.
The only time I feel that people can break out of this system in through their understanding of this cause and effect system and how it works. Basically, the reason we have been able to achieve all that we have through science and technology has been through our greater understanding of somethings causing other things. In nature, gravity causes a fruit to fall from a tree, the taste of the fruit causes an animal to consume it, the animal's body causes it to be processed and expelled, and the resulting waste causes the tree to grow. However, though nature functions in this way, people have learned to gain control.
With our rational thought, we are able to think about the future; we can predict the kinds of effects that causes have. In this way, though decisions are based now on feelings and desires, not all causes have the same effects. Every time there is a decision to be made by a person, they consider the outcomes possible, decide which one they like, and redirect the natural cause and effect flow to move in that direction. In this way people can be held morally responsible for things they cause, as opposed to arguing that everything has to happen as it does. Now some would argue this does not defeat cause-and-effect, but merely makes certain effects caused by different things, ie. the tree grows where it does because we moved it there, not because it fell there. But I would say that through our understanding of nature, we have learned to thrive, and to change the natural course of things for our benefit. We are not slaves of this cause and effect system, but rather we are the artists of it. We take what exists, and make it better.
This kind of control through knowledge can also be seen in people who are intuitive, and in those who interact with them. Studies have shown that a majority of what people gain from our direct communication with them comes from body language, and non-verbal cues, as opposed to things actually said. Some people, are more aware of this than others, and these people seem to get a grasp on the kinds of people they meet much more quickly. Paying attention to certain actions, or to certain choices of words and stories, can indicate more than just what the person says. It is because of this that I find myself generally well-liked; in most situations when I interact with someone, I can quickly determine the way in which they prefer, or expect, to be treated, and by adhering to this method of interaction, I can give them exactly what they want. I don't lie, or act fake, I just show them the side of me they are most interested in. Some call me manipulative, I consider myself observant and accomodating. When I say I'm not fake, I mean I would never act out of personal character to please someone, and will still, at all times, be myself.
The thing is, being intuitive, I know what people who are also intuitive are seeing. I understand the cues they pick up, and the things that communicate most loudly to them. Because I speak this same non-verbal language, I am able to communicate in it fluently. For this reason, I am not as transparent to intuitive people as others may be. Those unaware of how they act non-verbally inevitably show more of themselves to those who know how to read them. I, on the other hand, understand the effects my actions have on people, and because of this, have confused many people about my true nature. Last year I had a problem with lying; not really about big things, but little details I would make up. Some people who knew me exceptionally well would know, but others would see my honest nature and never assume I was untrue. Likewise, though I am a strong Christian in faith, some people really only see this side of me, and assume that I am going to end up being a man of the cloth. I allow them this belief because it's the part of me they are most interested in. But people cannot assume to understand me quickly, because often I will only show the part that people will be most comfortable with.
Some people think that chivalry and being a gentleman are outdated concepts, that have no place in an equal society. They claim that a man going out of his way to be kind to women is simply a sexist ideal that brings imaginary "honour" to the man. However, the definition of a gentleman, as I understand it, is a man who at all times wants to ensure that everyone around him is as comfortable as possible. The ideals come from a desire to think of others, care for others, and have others care for you. I believe in respect and love for others whenever possible, and will at all times, strive for harmony and comfort for all. Even in the face of zombie apocalypse, you will find me holding open the door for survivors, and laying down my coat over a puddle of blood for you to cross safely.
The only time I feel that people can break out of this system in through their understanding of this cause and effect system and how it works. Basically, the reason we have been able to achieve all that we have through science and technology has been through our greater understanding of somethings causing other things. In nature, gravity causes a fruit to fall from a tree, the taste of the fruit causes an animal to consume it, the animal's body causes it to be processed and expelled, and the resulting waste causes the tree to grow. However, though nature functions in this way, people have learned to gain control.
With our rational thought, we are able to think about the future; we can predict the kinds of effects that causes have. In this way, though decisions are based now on feelings and desires, not all causes have the same effects. Every time there is a decision to be made by a person, they consider the outcomes possible, decide which one they like, and redirect the natural cause and effect flow to move in that direction. In this way people can be held morally responsible for things they cause, as opposed to arguing that everything has to happen as it does. Now some would argue this does not defeat cause-and-effect, but merely makes certain effects caused by different things, ie. the tree grows where it does because we moved it there, not because it fell there. But I would say that through our understanding of nature, we have learned to thrive, and to change the natural course of things for our benefit. We are not slaves of this cause and effect system, but rather we are the artists of it. We take what exists, and make it better.
This kind of control through knowledge can also be seen in people who are intuitive, and in those who interact with them. Studies have shown that a majority of what people gain from our direct communication with them comes from body language, and non-verbal cues, as opposed to things actually said. Some people, are more aware of this than others, and these people seem to get a grasp on the kinds of people they meet much more quickly. Paying attention to certain actions, or to certain choices of words and stories, can indicate more than just what the person says. It is because of this that I find myself generally well-liked; in most situations when I interact with someone, I can quickly determine the way in which they prefer, or expect, to be treated, and by adhering to this method of interaction, I can give them exactly what they want. I don't lie, or act fake, I just show them the side of me they are most interested in. Some call me manipulative, I consider myself observant and accomodating. When I say I'm not fake, I mean I would never act out of personal character to please someone, and will still, at all times, be myself.
The thing is, being intuitive, I know what people who are also intuitive are seeing. I understand the cues they pick up, and the things that communicate most loudly to them. Because I speak this same non-verbal language, I am able to communicate in it fluently. For this reason, I am not as transparent to intuitive people as others may be. Those unaware of how they act non-verbally inevitably show more of themselves to those who know how to read them. I, on the other hand, understand the effects my actions have on people, and because of this, have confused many people about my true nature. Last year I had a problem with lying; not really about big things, but little details I would make up. Some people who knew me exceptionally well would know, but others would see my honest nature and never assume I was untrue. Likewise, though I am a strong Christian in faith, some people really only see this side of me, and assume that I am going to end up being a man of the cloth. I allow them this belief because it's the part of me they are most interested in. But people cannot assume to understand me quickly, because often I will only show the part that people will be most comfortable with.
Some people think that chivalry and being a gentleman are outdated concepts, that have no place in an equal society. They claim that a man going out of his way to be kind to women is simply a sexist ideal that brings imaginary "honour" to the man. However, the definition of a gentleman, as I understand it, is a man who at all times wants to ensure that everyone around him is as comfortable as possible. The ideals come from a desire to think of others, care for others, and have others care for you. I believe in respect and love for others whenever possible, and will at all times, strive for harmony and comfort for all. Even in the face of zombie apocalypse, you will find me holding open the door for survivors, and laying down my coat over a puddle of blood for you to cross safely.
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