Inspired by John, Not Really a Category

I will admit my blog’s inspiration is John’s. I only decided to write my own, because I like John’s so much, and wanted to share some of the things I don’t necessarily share otherwise. I am not a secret person, but often I believe that people don’t honestly care what I have to say; this doesn’t bother me, I just don’t bother talking sometimes. Other times I talk for the sake of saying things, whether or not people really listen. I love to think out loud, and by writing or saying things, it solidifies my own understanding of my beliefs. So though I don’t have a hundred posts, I will do a little personal reflection based on what John wrote about.
I’m not an angry person, but I often feel confused. I would admit that coming from a stable family, being successful in friendships, and in jobs, and having not suffered any worse life struggles than mild asthma, I do not have much reason to be otherwise. Now, I learned in high school that you should be comfortable with yourself. By this I mean, be comfortable admitting what brings you joy, what makes you really you, and find the people that will accept and love you still. The problem is I don’t think I know anyone quite like me, and I sometimes feel weird. I wonder if people are secretly annoyed by me, or don’t really respect me. I wonder if people realize I think more than it seems just by listening to me, and I wonder if people know I care. I don’t have friends who ask much of me, which is actually a shame, because I wish I could do more for my friends.
I am certain that my life is happy because I have found a life philosophy that makes sense to me, and works. My girlfriend is annoyed to hear me quote it every other day, but when asked, all my life thoughts are based on a single concept. Two aspects make it complete; Love God, and Love everyone else. This is a short version, but it’s all I need. Knowing that this is my life understanding, and that I live a life mostly in accordance with this, gives me extreme satisfaction. If I never achieve more than loving the people around me, I will have succeeded. I don’t need to travel, I don’t need to change the world, and I don’t care if most people never hear of me. My life is lived fully by loving God, and loving others. I wish my friends asked more of me, so I would have a chance to actively show how much I care.
I had a co-worker recently admit what she loves about me; she sees that I care about everyone. When I interact with strangers, I typically start off trying to concern myself by making them comfortable, and then I’m actually interested in hearing what they feel and think. I have spouted in this blog about bringing happiness to yourself, and making the most of things for yourself. Well, I believe in true, solid love that lasts, despite obstacles that try to rend it apart violently. I also care about everyone finding this in their own, best way. People have always known they could talk to me about their feelings and that I would be interested and care. I love to listen to relationship/love concerns, and figure out what a person really wants or needs for themselves.
I know that God is my safety net. Having come to a conclusion for myself based on what I consider “adequate evidence”, I am firm in my current beliefs. Because of this, certain relationships I have may be very important to me at any given time, but do not bother me extensively when they end. Losing certain friends has been sad, but I’ve never assumed I couldn’t get more later. I love people, and love to find new friends. Rarely have I made such important friends, where no longer being friends would be truly painful. My best friend Mark is an obvious choice, as I see him as a brother. John, I’m sad to say, despite your wishes, you are one of these important friends too. I would never want to hold you back from achieving your desires to travel and move on quietly, but I would be pained to know I’d never hear from you again. This is the sort of relationship that is based on loving who people truly are. Mark and John are people who have such aspects to their personality that I feel they are examples of great people. Their intelligence, wit, love, thought, care, and more are all things that make me think the world of them. John, so many girls would be the luckiest in the world if they got to be with you in a relationship. Forget that you have anger, and that you have issues with your body; this stuff is only for you. You don’t need to doubt your relationship value, that’s not your job. Your only job is to accept what you DO bring to the table, which is so much, it outweighs everything.
I know this post sounds like I love John, and maybe I want to balance what I read in his. When I reflect on my posts, and my life, I want people to know that I care about others, I care about myself, and I care about God. Nothing else really matters. I wish more people would ask friendly favours of me, even if it is to just hang out when you feel like it, I want to be a part of that. I am a smart person; I put a lot of thought into the things I think and believe, and though it annoys me when people judge my thoughts assuming they are not rationally decided, I understand it is hard to understand how other people think. I am a happy, lucky person, who really doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else; I would just love to be there with people who don’t realize their own happiness. True happiness in life can come from the intellectual, from the artistic, from the interactive. So much happiness is there for the taking and those who can’t quite take as much, either just haven’t found it yet, or could benefit from a friend to point them in the right direction.